Go Not Gently
by Aromene
Summary: Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Serenity


**Disclaimer: Gods I wish they were mine. But I can be content with the fact that Joss owns them and that is why they are all so brilliant.**

**Author's Note: So I saw the movie twice opening weekend. And then I went a bought the book. And then being the sad person I am, I decided to fill in some of the gaps. Gah. The title is care of Kate, because apparently I can't remember high school poetry properly...or really at all.**

**And yes, it is 'Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night' by Dylan Thomas, but this particular rewording needed an adverb.**

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Simon had thought the pain that had torn through him even as the bullet did would be the worst thing he ever experienced, at least on the off chance he lived longer than the next hour. But he had been wrong, so very wrong. It was nothing compared to the agony he felt in every inch of his body when the blast doors closed in front of River; his last image of her a look of fear as she was caught amongst the Reavers.

He had thought his heart would stop right then, and wasn't at all sure that wouldn't be for the best. River had become his life, if indeed it had ever been otherwise. Everything he did or thought revolved around her and now she was gone.

But then Inara was there, calling his name and begging amidst her tears for him to hang on. But it was Kaylee's agonized cry that stopped his head-long fall into death. He couldn't leave her; not now, not yet. River wasn't the only one that needed him, or the only one he cared about. And so he grasped onto Kaylee like a lifeline, in quite the literal sense, and pulled himself back into an agonizingly real world. For the moment he pushed the thought of River's horrific and impending death out of his mind and tried to focus on what was happening in the tunnel around him and the people he could save even if he couldn't save himself.

'Inara,' he ground out before a wave of agony prevented any further words. But the Companion was already rifling through the medical bag River had tossed through the doors, her nimble fingers going from one vial to the next.

'That one;' Simon found his voice again as Inara's fingers grasped a particular vial from the corner of the bag. She reacted instantly, and Simon guessed she had already figured out it was the correct one before he had spoken. 'How –' she started, but Simon, for once, was ahead of her.

'Five mil–' he got out before his throat caught and he started to cough. But Inara had heard enough. Quickly she measured out the correct dosage of calaphar and gave Kaylee the injection.

The world disappeared for a moment as another wave of pain shot through Simon's belly. When vision returned Kaylee was lying partly on her side, eyes looking at him worryingly. No doubt she was remembering quite clearly the time she had been shot in the belly by that idiot Dobson. She knew firsthand how much danger Simon was in. He felt the prick of a needle and was actually surprised he could feel something so insignificant compared to the crushing agony that was quickly stealing his breath. But the adrenaline did its job, and after a few pounding heartbeats Simon felt some clarity return. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

Inara was once again putting pressure on the wound, which left Simon with his hands free. He groped for a vial lying on its side near his hand and was rather impressed when he managed to pick it up. Inara took one hand from his belly to scrounge another syringe out of the bad, but she obviously thought Simon was better left to handle the rest, and a small part of Simon's mind that was still aware and rational had to agree. Sighing in relief when he managed to get the drug into his veins, he allowed his body to relax. The painkiller would help, at least enough o keep him conscious, which was all he really cared about at that particular moment.

He opened his eyes and blinked up at Inara as a bloody hand smoothed his hair from his forehead. It was a motion he had used many times with River and it always calmed her. Simon was slightly amazed at how comforting it actually was.

And then he heard the squeak and rattle of metal and glanced upwards to see the elevator door behind him wrenched open and a bleeding Malcolm Reynolds stumble out. Part of Simon's brain found the whole scene rather funny once he focused on the fact that the Captain was clutching a hand to his bleeding side.

Mal looked around, clearly struggling to piece together what had happened down here, even as his crew tried to guess what had happened to him.

'Sir?' Zoë broke the heavy silence, her voice both worried and pleading.

'It's done,' was all Mal said, but it was enough. Even Simon let out a breath of relief. 'Report,' Mal ordered, in a voice that was rather lacking in its usual command. But even as Zoë opened her mouth to reply, the sound of the blast doors opening got everyone's attention. Everyone that could made a sorry attempt to reach for a weapon.

It took a moment for Simon to comprehend what he was looking at. But once his eyes adjusted to the change in distance, they widened in complete incomprehension at River, dress splattered with blood, standing amidst a pile of dead Reavers. Even Simon could see the wet blood still dripping from the axes she held in her hands. But if that sight wasn't astonishing enough, the sound as of a bomb going off and the sudden disappearance of the wall behind River, to be replaced by blinding light, nearly caused Simon to pass out.

His vision almost nil, he barely made out a shouted 'Drop your weapons!' Simon blinked, desperate to figure out what was going on. Slowly the black spots faded and his eyes attuned to the light. Nearly a dozen Alliance soldiers were standing in front of what used to be a wall. River had not moved and inch, for which he was thankful.

'Do we engage? Do we engage?' One of the soldiers was speaking, though Simon couldn't figure out whom to. 'Targets are acquired! Do we have a kill order? Do we have a kill order?'

Simon' heart skipped a few beats. No, no, no. River was there, she was alright. They were all alright. Please, not now…

And then the words none of them expected, but all hoped to hear came over the comm system: 'Stand down. We're finished.'

Simon struggled once more not to pass out in relief. The soldiers lowered their guns, and after a second's pause River dropped the axes with a loud metallic clank onto the floor. She looked up, her eyes meeting her brother's, and then in a flash too quick for Simon to focus on she was at his side; fingers grasping his hand, her sweet voice in his ear, and gentle lip so his forehead as he had done so many times with her.

Simon took one deep breath of relief and the world, finally, turned black.


End file.
